ESCAPE FROM PLAZA-MIDWOOD

THESE ARE THE END TIMES

these are the end times
you don’t need a jacket
is she really paying off the credit
cards for the fine line
are you on the light side
or the dayisnightside
flipping over cars
momma never told you goodbye
would be this hard

art schools are offering martial arts
you can minor in ‘em so i’m told
Cormac Mccarthy’s boy could’ve used
something like that on The Road
Aunt Tammy ain’t trying to lose weight no more
she’s back on Oxycontins too
she spends her time thinking
of California sinking
and something coming out of the blue

these are the end times
take your tennis racquet
take the top and hack it, sharpen off the end
make some moonshine
decorate the bunker
you should talk it over
with the wife again
momma never taught you
how to cook your friends

when she made you
she gave you things you’ll never use
those things are very pretty nonetheless
but she can’t save you
all of us are gonna bleed
your Father will not intervene, i guess

these are the end times
some of us can’t hack it
some of us are sorry and some of us can’t wait
if i could rewind, i would storm your castle
i would Bernie Makeoff
with your heart today
momma never told me
to throw it all away

INDIE PRINCE PAUL

Mischief Face, sun floods the banker’s house
Halcyons, astronomical threadcount
elation, you’d beat the MCAT’s down

won’t you give me your upstairs shivers
baby now you’re ducking my calls
so i’m holding back raging rivers
are you with the Indie Prince Paul
in his skinny blue jeans and all

i’m for sure, the moment you turned me out
takes but one vapid sentimental sound
guess this means my number’s up in town

don’t you worry Dopeman delivers
we ain’t gotta go out at all
you’re saying now to your pleasuregiver
score one for the Indie Prince Paul
American Apparel and all

only consolation is i had her first
this old boy will make it buddy
i’ve been worse

MY BLUE ANGELS

no the family business wasn’t for me
could you see me saving souls
but the apple don’t fall that far from the tree
when it comes to holy smoke

i’ve halls of worship so far and wide
Chapel Hill to old Saint Paul
and i still get chills when i step inside
and i feel my master’s call

it’s rock and roll that’s there for me
when i drink myself to sleep
it’s rock and roll that hits me back
when i call yeah when i call
and i love my fantasy, games of chance
let’s make believe my blue angles
live in Cleveland in the hall

Bedsprings Baptist, oh Saint Mattress
Sunday morning, please stop mourning
you should see we might be happy

if against all odds it’s true
and cloud life’s how it goes
and Gabriel won’t play trumpet for me
i’ve still got Randy Rhodes

it’s rock and roll that’s there for me
when i’m puke on Thomas Street
it’s rock and roll that picks me up
when i fall yeah when i fall
and i love my pageantry, little honeys
on their knees, my blue angles
live in Cleveland in the hall
oh my blue angels live in Cleveland
in the hall

FUTURETOWN

slow down on your way to Futuretown
i say to her as we pass by
just in case it ain’t the place for you
be glad you took your time
hey hey, i hope you make it back someday
that’s if they let you change your mind
but if i never see you till the War of the Worlds
promise me that you’ll be kind to me honey
promise me that you’ll be kind

in Futuretown i was striking out
couldn’t catch a break no way
nobody needed anything i had
listed on my resume
i took an apartment there in Quadrant C
on the rougher side of things
late at night i couldn’t fall asleep
for fear of driveby laser beams

lucky for me the kid next door
said i reminded him of his grandpa
he thought the carburetor in my car
was the coolest thing that he ever saw
so he gave my number to the underboss
of the family he soldiered for
and i wound up every day and night
slinging oxygen and Hoverboards

slow down on your way to Futuretown
i say to her as we pass by
just in case it ain’t the place for you
be glad you took your time
hey hey, i hope you make it back someday
that’s if they let you change your mind
but if i never see you till the War of the Worlds
promise me that you’ll be kind to me honey
promise me that you’ll be kind

one night at home with my new lady friend
i heard the sirens going off
turns out my girl she wasn’t even mine
she was half a robot half a cop
i spent a month inside a holding cell
with the poets and the pervs
i didn’t want to hear their noise at all
they were getting on my fucking nerves

a guard i knew had a deal in mind
i’d been telling him about back home
he’d bust me out and he’d come along
if i swore to god he could ski on snow
so Kato Kaylan took a piece of glass
dug the microchip from my arm
and here i am on the highway now
in my bloody prison uniform

slow down on your way to Futuretown
i say to her as we pass by
just in case it ain’t the place for you
be glad you took your time
hey hey, i hope you make it back someday
that’s if they let you change your mind
but if you’re gonna leave me for the future, girl
and if i never see you till the War of the Worlds
and if they find me hiding in a Monet mural
promise me that you’ll be kind to me honey
promise me that you’ll be kind

NUMBER EVERY SUMMER

she says i’m such an Eddie Haskell, always keeps her cool
she’s number every summer here beside the pool
i’m learning how to keep these secrets to myself
i’m either gonna get it or she’ll put me on the shelf
Mrs. Nelson knows i’m dying to stay in the game

take a look at Mr. Pacer ditching work at three
got a shiny Rickenbacker resting on his knee
he ain’t gonna let it phase him, Sandy took the house
like he let his hair keep growing when half was falling out
every morning he puts up the American flag

we’re interesting oh we’re interesting too
are you suggesting, anything at all will do
the show has long been canceled
and the audience is gone
but if you’ve got half a heart just
pretend the camera’s still on

“Isabella’s got a novel” her little brother brags
while we’re waiting on a pizza, trying to score a bag
she says “it’s really nothing, just a shitty draft”
while the stars are all exploding every time she laughs
but she won’t know until the woods if she still feels the same

we’re interesting oh we’re interesting too
are you suggesting, anything at all will do
the show has long been canceled
and the audience is gone
but if you’ve got half a heart just
pretend the camera’s still on
everybody, the camera’s still on

I TAKE CARE OF YOU NOW

you’d been kicking around when i found you
coping strategies torn up and frayed
a dirty blonde refugee, the girls in the gallery
all but forbid you to stay

a couple of years ago back on the east coast
Bobby showed you some hard things to know
sometimes you cry for those days like a war
sometimes they can’t let you go

you be brave enough just for today
let the evening come take us away
they can’t get us here, we won’t be found
i take care of you now

bought another bad lottery ticket
i’ve been shooting my mouth off some more
picking a fight with myself in the alley way
behind the brown liquor store

come let me in ‘cause the night’s getting colder
and i’ve been so crazy
rock you to sleep with your head on my shoulder
and be my baby

you be brave enough just for today
let the evening come take us away
they can’t get us here, we won’t be found
i take care of you now

DURING THE BEAUTY SHORTAGE

(instrumental)

BRING THE OLD YOU BACK

so you’ve got a license now to run right out
steam roll the people who put you down
back when you were nothing
man, when you were nothing at all
but the only problem is you’re taking a wiz
on everybody else who loves you
wouldn’t it be cooler, grab your sixshooter
aim it at the ruler inside
that says you’ll never measure up

could you bring the old you back
‘cause this one here really sucks

remember at the river house you told me about
Okies from Muskogee and Jackson Browne
man, that meant something to me
you being older and all
you were such a legend then
now you’re my friend it hurts me
how they’re starting to doubt you
wouldn’t it be better, pull it all together
write your fans that letter
tell them how you’re still hanging tough

could you bring the old you back
‘cause this one here is a drunk

man you could be the greatest
i’ve never met no one like you
no matter what your fate is
you gave the world something true

could you bring the old you back
cause this one here really…
could you bring the old you back
and right away

could you bring the old you back
‘cause everyone’s had enough

FREQUENT FLYER

we’ve been doing ok
maybe we’ve been better
that’s how it goes
this ain’t climate change
just some bumpy weather
baby i know

we’ve gotta get us some new improved routines
i’ve been really looking for a different scene
maybe time to go left coast

she’s only tits on a stick
the fact that you inquire
is blowing my mind
you’re my copilot
she’s but a frequent flyer
on any airline

i am only guilty of a single glance
it’s ain’t my fault her ass is hanging out her pants
i am only but a man

just in case you didn’t know
you’re the woman that i love most
the reason that i’m not dead
in the jail going out my head
my love isn’t loud, it’s real and it’s true
and it’s only for you

i’m gonna take you home
and make you remember
why you’re with me
i’m still your Steely Dan
your January ember
when autumn leaves

i’ll burn down the kitchen taking off your clothes
we’ll stay in the shower till the water’s cold
i will be all i can be

just in case you didn’t know
you’re the woman that i love most
the reason that i’m not dead
in the jail going out my head
my love isn’t loud, it’s real and it’s true
and it’s only for you

what do i say in the night
when you ask me your questions
it ain’t my fault how i talk in my sleep
it’s just the stress, the pointless obsessions
stop listening to me

WHEN ANIMALS

would you say things just occurred
when to kill your mockingbird
was it singing too loud
over top your show
what’s it like in the berzerk
strange and bright, tight like a church
where your statue will stand
ever since you froze

if it’s true, shame on you
the cube jockeys say
your story takes them thru their day
tomorrow and the next one

did you float above yourself
at the big debut
when the animals attack
on the evening news

summertime here then it’s gone
darker days follow along
were you gonna crack up
give the goods away

black and white clips from a store
calls on tape told Plumber Joe
‘bout the way that you were
tricky things you’d say

CaseyBelle, your wishing well
is running dry
it don’t look good from the outside
they will seek the final option

was it ordinary life
crashing down on you
you were gonna break away

break yourself in two
changing channels for a while
Betty Draper’s on
she’s got problems of her own
what to do with Don

THE LAUNCH CODES

I’m waiting for her at the Damon stop
my heart is pumping now as she gets off
and I masquerade as a rat in the crowd
don’t have a plan i’m just a passenger
love is the pilot and we follow her
for a couple blocks, hope she don’t turn around

just want to see her, know the street name that she’s claiming now
i wonder how many more street names I will get
before my status as a ghost becomes official
before I’m nothing but the wind

what do you do when your love is nuclear
and all of your generals implore you fire
do you give ‘em the launch codes or do you retire
disarm desire as best you can

why couldn’t I just love Elizabeth
safer on paper and a better bet
for someone like me, she’s good looking out
but I left you standing at the Spanish Steps
now I’m the keeper chasing down the kept
singing “what goes up don’t always come down”

my hands are tired of going on without a master
my words are only grains of salt upon the wound
my mouth don’t recognize the lips of an impostor
my heart it ran away with you

what do you do when your love is nuclear
and all of your generals implore you fire
do you give ‘em the launch codes or do you retire
disarm desire as best you can

what do you do when you’re watching her slip away
each day even more than the last
where do you tell them she’s run off to
every time that they ask

BABY RAY

Rachel liked to ride with me to school
her dad’s apartment had a pool
at the time he worked for Firestone
she had to learn to live alone

her momma called me trouble from the start
maybe i could play the part
but for all the hours lying still
she only let me cop a feel

oh, Baby Ray, i still recall
the precious awkward girl
before we failed a thousand times
and got lost in the world

cut to ten years later at the bar
i’m back in town and living hard
from the looks of things you’re walking wires
two emotional vampires

cashing out, man what you talking ‘bout
you think maybe cause you bought some beers
i bet she hides, even if you get inside
even if you get to taste her tears

little one the place we’re from
has blown itself away
the houses are but shadows now
the old folks in their graves

oh baby, rise, ride to work
and cry until you scream
i’ll put on a crown of thorns
and sleep down in a stream
pray for me

NEW ENGLISH MAGAZINES

blinded by the razor wire
spinning cyclones in the sun
driving past the country club’s back nine
rolling tape, secret ancient scenes
technicolor afternoons from another life
back when you were mine

baby, how your bones grew strong
toward the elm trees on your street
there were sleepovers and skybox Hornets games
Violent Femmes, empty parking lots
cursive letters on back packs
haunt me to this day
Victoria Lorraine

as for me i’m fabulous today
i think my hands are steady
the trees are red already
i just placed a phone call
that would make my momma weep
i’m gonna swim home thru the yards
i’m straight, butterfly me closer
the ultimate doover
dare me and i’ll wake up knowing
nothing of this sleep

me and the neighborhood
been together half my life
ain’t it something saying that out loud
years ago when i tried on dreams
swore that i hated her guts
now she’s all i’ve got
and she makes me proud

i’m gonna call someone who cares for me
she may not be pretty
or know about big city life
or who writes fiction for
New English magazines
but we can dance together slow and grieve
for murdered kids on TV
grizzly MSNBC marathons
of deviants and broken families

ME AND THE DOG

me and the dog are just counting it down
jumping out our skin with each passing sound
popping in the streetlight or refrigerator ice machine
what it is exactly we’re waiting for
i think she knows something but won’t say for sure
i wish that she would tell me in case we need a good head start

it it mesothelioma or a guy with a knife
47 more years of of the good life
a lover or a cover blown from 2024
we could go and drink or just stay
inside and think some more

i wonder ‘bout the people that had given her up
before i broke down, was lonely enough
i’d rather pass the hours by with anyone but me
did they put the nervousness in her
was he in construction with a bad temper
or is she terrified like me all on on her own accord

did he kick her in the face when she shit on the floor
did he pass out on the porch, keys stuck in the door
did he love her just enough to let her know what love is not
have i seen his clothes when i’m Goodwill
was he all about the uppers or was it pain pills
did he save up all his money till he could get a decent whore
did he ever change man i bet he never found that cure

we will go on like this
we’ll stick to the plan
until something changes
God knows what comes then

there are times i wish she could get a job
help a blind lady or sniff out the mob
but she would readily admit she don’t have the smarts
the way she’s looking at me it’s as if she knows
one day i’ll be standing where the flowers grow
in the place we’ll lay her down here in the backyard

THINLY VEILED REFERENCES

i was counting the days till you dropped i
i opened my cellophane up
and drove out alone to dissect it
spitting ice in a red plastic cup
and i shook like a leaf when it struck

you were singing about me on your record
the references so thinly veiled
that any outsider could follow
and high on your cross i was nailed
in the distance well your ship had sailed

it’s cool i know i’m you’re character
some say that you’ve done me wrong
but i did most of those things, about like you said
and i’ll even us up with this song

you’re apartment was always disgusting
you bled dry your mother and dad
you were easily sicker than i was
a whore for the bigtime so bad
you were random and totally rad

it’s cool i know i’m you’re character
some say your pen’s pretty strong
takes a loner to know one
and i like your style
your number one fan all along

MAGIC WINTER & THE DIRTY SOUTH

THE SIDEMAN

were you born to be the sideman
or were you born to be
the guy in the front

were you born to say well goodnight then
or were you born to give
her what she wants

and you wake up humming
and you’re walking home
do you believe the universe
threw you a bone

were you born to be the blind man
or were you born to see
so much you break

were you born to die the young man
or were you born to kiss
his face at the wake

ten Kentucky winters
he’s been underground
just the other day
we rode our bikes around

see my friends get married
see them settle down
see them on the weekend
still rocking it out

each of us is thinking
what if that were me
did we get off course
in 2003

if you build it she will come
if you call him we want some
if you’re listening what’d I say
if you love me go away

what were you born to be

RED DAWN SOON

he had a mass at the base of his brain
the coroner said it could’ve made him go insane
insane enough to pick off fourteen
under sunny skies that morning at UT
but that don’t seem half as crazy
as the crazy i that i go for you
and in case that was hazy
i ain’t stopping ’til you let me thru
they think an evil alien is to blame
they think that medication for depression is so lame
and volcanoes have to do with it to
they got movie stars can tell you what you need to do
but they don’t seem half as crazy
as the crazy that i go for you
and i swear by Patrick Swayze
i’ll be with you in the Red Dawn soon

Benedict Canyon had to take his pain
he told the Family “Death to Pigs”, children made it rain
there was a mansion and a Beach Boy friend
and those girls defended Charlie Manson ’til the end
but that don’t seem half as crazy
as the crazy that i go for you
everybody says i’m lazy
but that really doesn’t phase my swoon
and you know it really slays me
that the fates want to delay me
honey that ain’t really nothing new

10:30

Jessica your house is weird
in another dimension
you’re poor and smell like Winston Lights
your father’s hooked to tubes

can’t you see my blood just roars
thru my temples and my throat
is closing to hold back my heart
i’m so in love with you

here against the flaking paint
while everyone has gone inside
we’ll do what we’ve been dreaming of
everyday at school

flying over the town where you were born
streetlights showing the yards of the war torn
magic winter in the dirty south
i was born to sing into your mouth

wow we’re in your grandma’s car
to the seafood restaurant
our hands are sweaty and it’s strange
and perfect as can be

“tell us all about yourself”
your momma asks me as she stares
at your pink ice and cracks a smile
her knuckles spell “Ozzy”

and i don’t want to say good night
i want to play your dad’s Les Paul
thru his enormous Marshall stack
beside the small TV

but my mom will come take me soon
to our cookie cutter house
i’ve turned the upstairs ringers off
so call at 10:30
call at 10:30

NOT TRYING

i’m not trying to lie
i can’t keep it together
i’ve been getting high
and forgot the days
i loved my face like sunny weather
baby I’m not even trying to lie

i’m not trying to hide
let me out in the open
i’m not trying to hide
we don’t have the time
you’ll understand is what i’m hoping
baby i’m not even trying to hide

i get the feeling you’ll be cool with me
if i’m brave enough to spill some beans
and there’s all this talk of moving in
i guess i’m ready for that ride again

i’m not trying to die
but i hear what you’re saying
i’m not trying to try
but i’ve changed my mind
the beast is gone the boy is staying
baby i’m not even trying to die

i’m not trying to lie
i can’t keep it together
i’ve been getting high
every single day
but i love your face like sunny weather
baby i’m not even trying to lie
baby i’m not even trying to lie

RYAN ON THE RUNWAY

how very much i’ve loved
how very much i’ve tried
i never wanted what is happening outside
i won’t separate or run and hide

would you see us give it up
let all the bastards in
we’ve still got aces up our sleeves
and we can win

i won’t go back ever again
we’re better off you’ll see
don’t overrate the elderly
come on, Christine

wherever it is this love is going it’s worth it
whoever gets off the plane is going down
we dreamt of mother Russia and skies so perfect
they took it away but we’re gonna show ‘em now

let us be dignified
let us let the night roar
let us hold hands
when the bad man is at our door

let us take all this pain no more
i never lied to you
i only laughed and cried with you
through everything

wherever it is this love is going it’s worth it
’cause Ryan is on the runway facing down
and if you had one good day than this was worth it
oh they took it away but we’re gonna show ‘em now
we’re gonna show ‘em now
yeah we’re gonna show ‘em now